bio
The mystical land in which I grew up in the early 70s always surrounded me with grace and love. A land that is full of wood, granite stones placed in the many varieties of hills and mountains. Fairies and other mystical creatures are told to exist here, we even do have a landing field for UFOs. Ahh, I love it. I love the mystics, the stories, ... everything. The energies are so very special here.
As much as this piece of earth supported me with all its elements, one of those fascinating elements also caused a very painful experience - a Near Death Experience
MY NEAR-DEATH-EXPERIENCE
I was 3 years old when I accompanied my father and my siblings to an official place to burn our companies waste. As soon as we arrived something went wrong and I fell over, my hand stuck in the ground. Underneath the ground, invisible to our eyes, were embers from a former fire that still glowed, probably with the help of the dirt, that was put above it to cover it up. The sudden shock I had kept my breath very low and I didn’t have energy to scream out for help. In fact, I started to go somewhere else, other than the physical world as we know it. I started to leave my body to not feel the immense pain in my hand.
What I experienced then was just incredible. I discovered a state of being that was so wonderful, and most importantly, so non-physical that I didn’t feel any pain at all. I started to love this new state of consciousness and wanted to stay in it. I did not want to leave this feeling of freedom. However, something within me told me, that, if I leave now, I would have to go through the same experience again the next time I come on earth, as this accident and all its consequences are part of my spiritual journey. And I certainly did not want to feel so much pain again. So I didn’t want to miss the opportunity and take the chance.
Little did I know at this point in time what should await me.
THE CONSEQUENCES
CAUTION: STRONG MEDICAL DESCRIPTION USED HERE
It was horrible. The intention of the medical personnel was good, they did everything to keep me alive. And yet, as a child, things like this feel more like a torture than a survival program.
Between my 3rd and 10th year of age I spent a huge amount of time in hospital to recover from the accident. In over 30 surgeries fingers were amputated, skin transplanted and nails replaced (well, one nail, the one that was left). Small iron bars were implanted and then painfully removed again. Pliable wires should hold my bones together, all for the sake of keeping my fingers together. (I still have one bar in one of my fingers.)
In addition to all of that, I was alone most of the time as my family was a 2,5 hours drive away. (In Europe and especially in the 70s, 2,5 hours were a long time. Streets were not as fast as today and certainly not cars.)
And the hospital offered just 2x2 hours to be visited.
RECOVERY
After the medical treatment was more or less over I used my time to get in shape again on a human level. Like going to school, being a member in (sports)clubs, ... living a normal life again. My smaller left hand shouldn’t be much of a problem, in fact, it was more of a motivation to use it and learn things like playing the piano.
With 21, however, my trauma caught up with me again and wanted to be healed. A long journey with treatments on a psychological level started. I also had to look for healing on a physical level as my body started to scream out in form of indescribable pain.
That’s the time when my spiritual education started. It actually started with the accident itself as countless spiritual revelations happened to enlighten me since then. But on an informative, educational level I started to gain more (spiritual) insights in being a human and dealing with changes on a mental as well as physical level.
I spent a huge amount of time in attending self-help groups, therapy, body-treatment, ... and gained more understanding through different methods of healing. I learned who I can trust and who‘s information is not meant for me (or even for no one else as a lot of spiritual teachers either just wanted to have power over people or were not very experienced and informed themselves.)
More then 20 years should pass until the bits and pieces should come together easily and let me live a full life. Most treatments, therapists and teachers helped for a short time but in the end couldn’t heal me completely because no one ever experienced something that was even close to what I experienced in this life. It was a very fearful, threatening time because I could not rely on anything or anyone.... but me.
That’s where I discovered my self-healing abilities which demanded a courageous approach from my side. However, conflicts were programmed and I lost more and more contacts because friends, family and even therapists wanted to convince me of their (old) opinion and wanted me to live life like they do and everyone else does. But there was always a knowingness within me that, on a higher level of recovery, there is more to be achieved and a more graceful life to be lived.
During all this hard time the one thing that always was important to me and, in fact, the only thing that was left, was, to learn how to trust myself until there was no doubt left within me. This full trust in myself now allows me to overcome every situation. Be it difficult or wonderful. This trust in me is actually the fuel of my whole life and let’s me create my good life.
All in all I see my life as my most important education. Without all these experiences I would not have gained that level of wisdom I have today. And this wisdom is growing every single day of my life.
As much as this piece of earth supported me with all its elements, one of those fascinating elements also caused a very painful experience - a Near Death Experience
MY NEAR-DEATH-EXPERIENCE
I was 3 years old when I accompanied my father and my siblings to an official place to burn our companies waste. As soon as we arrived something went wrong and I fell over, my hand stuck in the ground. Underneath the ground, invisible to our eyes, were embers from a former fire that still glowed, probably with the help of the dirt, that was put above it to cover it up. The sudden shock I had kept my breath very low and I didn’t have energy to scream out for help. In fact, I started to go somewhere else, other than the physical world as we know it. I started to leave my body to not feel the immense pain in my hand.
What I experienced then was just incredible. I discovered a state of being that was so wonderful, and most importantly, so non-physical that I didn’t feel any pain at all. I started to love this new state of consciousness and wanted to stay in it. I did not want to leave this feeling of freedom. However, something within me told me, that, if I leave now, I would have to go through the same experience again the next time I come on earth, as this accident and all its consequences are part of my spiritual journey. And I certainly did not want to feel so much pain again. So I didn’t want to miss the opportunity and take the chance.
Little did I know at this point in time what should await me.
THE CONSEQUENCES
CAUTION: STRONG MEDICAL DESCRIPTION USED HERE
It was horrible. The intention of the medical personnel was good, they did everything to keep me alive. And yet, as a child, things like this feel more like a torture than a survival program.
Between my 3rd and 10th year of age I spent a huge amount of time in hospital to recover from the accident. In over 30 surgeries fingers were amputated, skin transplanted and nails replaced (well, one nail, the one that was left). Small iron bars were implanted and then painfully removed again. Pliable wires should hold my bones together, all for the sake of keeping my fingers together. (I still have one bar in one of my fingers.)
In addition to all of that, I was alone most of the time as my family was a 2,5 hours drive away. (In Europe and especially in the 70s, 2,5 hours were a long time. Streets were not as fast as today and certainly not cars.)
And the hospital offered just 2x2 hours to be visited.
RECOVERY
After the medical treatment was more or less over I used my time to get in shape again on a human level. Like going to school, being a member in (sports)clubs, ... living a normal life again. My smaller left hand shouldn’t be much of a problem, in fact, it was more of a motivation to use it and learn things like playing the piano.
With 21, however, my trauma caught up with me again and wanted to be healed. A long journey with treatments on a psychological level started. I also had to look for healing on a physical level as my body started to scream out in form of indescribable pain.
That’s the time when my spiritual education started. It actually started with the accident itself as countless spiritual revelations happened to enlighten me since then. But on an informative, educational level I started to gain more (spiritual) insights in being a human and dealing with changes on a mental as well as physical level.
I spent a huge amount of time in attending self-help groups, therapy, body-treatment, ... and gained more understanding through different methods of healing. I learned who I can trust and who‘s information is not meant for me (or even for no one else as a lot of spiritual teachers either just wanted to have power over people or were not very experienced and informed themselves.)
More then 20 years should pass until the bits and pieces should come together easily and let me live a full life. Most treatments, therapists and teachers helped for a short time but in the end couldn’t heal me completely because no one ever experienced something that was even close to what I experienced in this life. It was a very fearful, threatening time because I could not rely on anything or anyone.... but me.
That’s where I discovered my self-healing abilities which demanded a courageous approach from my side. However, conflicts were programmed and I lost more and more contacts because friends, family and even therapists wanted to convince me of their (old) opinion and wanted me to live life like they do and everyone else does. But there was always a knowingness within me that, on a higher level of recovery, there is more to be achieved and a more graceful life to be lived.
During all this hard time the one thing that always was important to me and, in fact, the only thing that was left, was, to learn how to trust myself until there was no doubt left within me. This full trust in myself now allows me to overcome every situation. Be it difficult or wonderful. This trust in me is actually the fuel of my whole life and let’s me create my good life.
All in all I see my life as my most important education. Without all these experiences I would not have gained that level of wisdom I have today. And this wisdom is growing every single day of my life.
Profile
Related Education (most important):
Wound of the Feminine and the Masculine, USA
Understanding Sexual Energy, USA
Freedom of Ancesters, USA
Understanding Aspects, USA
...
Self-Help Groups (Relationships, Addictions)
Lightworker Circles, Austria
Living in Process by Dr. Anne Wilson Schaef, USA
Spiritual Studies and Yoga, Kerala India
Yoga Teacher, Austria/India
Skiinstructor, Austria/Switzerland, Skiracer
Wellness- and Aerobic Trainer, Austria
Tourguide, Austria, Europe
Tourism Management, Austria, USA, Spain
Change Management, Austria
Countries I visited:
Europe, USA, India, South America, New Zealand, México, ...
Related Education (most important):
Wound of the Feminine and the Masculine, USA
Understanding Sexual Energy, USA
Freedom of Ancesters, USA
Understanding Aspects, USA
...
Self-Help Groups (Relationships, Addictions)
Lightworker Circles, Austria
Living in Process by Dr. Anne Wilson Schaef, USA
Spiritual Studies and Yoga, Kerala India
Yoga Teacher, Austria/India
Skiinstructor, Austria/Switzerland, Skiracer
Wellness- and Aerobic Trainer, Austria
Tourguide, Austria, Europe
Tourism Management, Austria, USA, Spain
Change Management, Austria
Countries I visited:
Europe, USA, India, South America, New Zealand, México, ...